


Scars And Rain

by Oiiikawas



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 22:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21088634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oiiikawas/pseuds/Oiiikawas
Summary: Saki recounts one of her many graveyard visits with an unaware Tohru.





	Scars And Rain

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this sleep deprived at 3am instead of focusing on my other series-----  
I absolutely love fruits baskets and I hope Saki isn't too out of character. Please enjoy.

The cool autumn rain pitter-pattered on the cobbles and stones that painted the once vibrant greenery with an ominous washed out hue. A spot once holding friendships together as they ate, chattered and laughed among the dead in what was deemed as a "insane" celebration (from a certain orange cat) was no longer more. Now, it was replaced with mourning, cries and regrets. Shouldn't it have been like that anways? Tohru was never a normal girl, it shouldn't be like this... it should go back.

Tohru smiled through her pain, hid it well in her endless smiles and wrapped it up in her kindness. She held her mother's words like a sword and fought on, she battled any problem that was thrown at her. She was an antidote that healed all scars, numbed all the pain and sorrow yet... she couldn't get to one person. That one person destroyed our Tohru, that one person set an everlasting eclipse on our sunlight, that one person kicked off the dominoes that crumbled what Tohru had fought so hard for. They opened up healed wounds and infected them and they made new cuts in the process.

I watched hidden behind the grand tree that towered over the graveyard. The waves were distressing and woeful, but I would come each time to watch over Tohru in these vulnerable moments no matter how painful it was.

I knew Tohru's routine up until a certain point. The pastel-less girl would sit with her mother for an hour or two, whispering her thoughts, her dreams, her life away to her. She used to eat with her (like we always did together in the past) before going to visit the other grave. However, one day I found her throwing up the moment she eyed the fresh name etched into the stone. So, Tohru would make it up by learning the lyrics to Kyoko's favourite songs, putting her to rest with each beautifully sung lyric. I think she was just calming her mother to sleep now, so her soul wouldn't become restless when she made her way to...

Tohru moved, getting up and dusting her knees from giving her mother's stone one last hug. She bowed, letting out one final prayer along with a smile. Was it truly a smile though? I could never be fooled by something only her muscles could show, not her emotions. Kyoko-san should know that, why does she ignore it?

My eyes followed Tohru as she moved towards a grand graveyard sight that is privately owned by the Sohma family. The creek of the tall wickedly sharp long black gates opening is piercing to my ears, but it's by far the softest and nicest sound you could hear in these moments.

Tohru's movements became slower, her aura changed and her waves screamed with unpinnable emotion. Her fake smile was pulled down to a true frown. It's getting worse - she hasn't reached the halfway point to the grave yet. But, she still has that undying determination to move, to get to her destination. I shift around the tree now, spying on her along with her sleeping mother.

She collapses. She does not pray and place her gifts down like she does with Kyoko... she weeps and holds onto the photo that rests against the beautiful gothic stone. The stone that is decorated in bejeweled pink and black roses - I find it sickening that she would take the colour pink with her and taint it for Tohru forever. But, I should never think that, it's immoral to think that regarding what happened...

The weeping is louder now snapping me out of my thoughts, she's slurring her words. Sentences I wish I couldn't hear, sentence she shouldn't be thinking nor be able to project. My body wanted to rush to her and hold her, hold her close and whisper sweet nothings to her. Give her want she needed, craved for, yearned for. I would stop these desires, but today I couldn't stop myself. I reached a hand out in Tohru's direction.

"You shouldn't." A deep voice emerged from the silence behind me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"Hatsuharu-san." I whispered out.

We both didn't take our eyes off Tohru.

"She will come to you in time, this is Tohru we are looking at."

"Are you sure we are looking at Tohru?"

He didn't reply for a while. The rain along with her sobs drowning out his words...

Then he spoke up, "it is Tohru. Tohru loves her and always will. She doesn't visit for the guilt like everyone thinks she does. She visits for the love that she still wants to give and that she could no longer give."

I would like to help her and selfishly take that love...

"She shouldn't blame herself for what happened that night. There was no possible way of stopping it, just like there was no possible way of stopping their love. Kyo and I had to understand and support it and now Tohru has to understand and come to peace with the suicide."

She shouldn't be doing this alone...

"With love comes pain. With pain comes love. Sometimes, the damage can never be sealed no matter how hard you try..." Haru's voice broke off now.

And I cried too. I joined the beating rain that we showered ourselves in as a a cloud in a storm of unrequited lost love that will never be ours again.

I mentioned earlier that Tohru could save anyone, but one. 

She was Rin Sohma. She was the ex-lover of Hatsuharu, the secret affair that blossomed into a promised love for Tohru and the person who I could never replace. She took her life on the third of October, due to an implusive suicide. She had mistaken Tohru for her mother during one of her PTSD episodes. It was in the night, Tohru couldn't control her while they were in bed and ran. She ran out of the bedroom door never to walk in again. She left Tohru and left herself to be discovered... I know this because she called me that night. She screamed my name out of all people to help her. But I'm still unable to help my beloved Tohru.

The event happened out of nowhere, no one saw it coming - it was only grief Tohru could understand.

This is my wound.

This will be my scar.

**Author's Note:**

> I will correct any mistakes in the morning. If you like this, I can write more fruits basket in the future. ^-^


End file.
